Is This Life?

random thoughts, , , , , , , , , , , ,

At 10 when I told them I was depressed;

They thought I just looked that word up in a dictionary and only trying to use it in a sentence.

At 13 when I told them I was depressed;

All I received were strange and weird looks and awkward stares.

At 16 when I told them I was depressed;

They told me I was just a kid and I shouldn’t worry about things a lot.

Now at 18 when I tell them I’m depressed;

All they tell me is, “Giving up already? You have a very long way to go. Look at me, in spite of all my problems, I ain’t wailing around like you do.”

A close friend of mine once said, “No two people can have the same set of problems. Hence, problems cannot be compared.” When he told me this, it seemed to be an utterly meaningless sentence. Later when I gave it a thought, the mist began to fade away. It’s meaning clearly showed up. True. We cannot compare each other’s problems. Because, each person has a different/ unique way of looking at things. An entirely different perspective. What is simply a problem for me, might be an opportunity dressed as a problem for someone else. It all depends upon us. Our perspective. There is no such thing as universal problem.

Knowing this, people think they have more greater problems than their fellow counterparts. Nothing wrong with it. Even I do so. I’m a human being right? And this is a human nature. Though, try having a bit control over it.

Just because we don’t act like a maniac, just because we don’t need a psychiatrist, and just because we have a huge smile plastered over our face, all the time; doesn’t mean we ain’t suffering from depression! Or does it? Only when the symptoms are extremely severe, do people consider the case as acutely vulnerable. But even if we don’t need a psychiatrist, it doesn’t mean that our feelings need to be completely ignored and neglected.

Next comes one of the worst nightmares for a depressed soul – Sympathy. It’s a common misconception that people suffering from depression crave for sympathy. In fact, it’s the last thing on Earth that they would ever ask for. We all like to be called strong, don’t we? The only thing that they desperately crave for is a normal and peaceful life. Now, the concept of a normal life just as a ‘problem’ varies from person to person. Normal is a relative term. Some may consider a life with riches as a normal life, while others may categorize the life of a recluse to be a normal life. Again, it depends upon perception.

Though we are surrounded by many a great problems, the smallest gestures – a smile without a reason, the view of a butterfly dancing around us, the sweet bird chips heard from our balcony, reading a wonderful article, and many other things such as these – can bring an instant smile to our face and cleanse us from all our negative old crappy thoughts! Isn’t that feeling heavenly? But maybe these are just ‘Depression Perks‘.

I read an article the other day which said that, ‘Artistic creativity may share genetic roots with schizophrenia and bipolar disorder.’ They had conducted a survey wherein most of those who suffered from schizophrenia and bipolar disorders, came from creative backgrounds such as, visual arts, theatre, dance, writing and music.They further even said that, “The results of this study should not have come as a surprise, because to be creative, you have to think differently from the crowd.” Woohoo! So here’s another benefit.

It’s true that when we are depressed/ sad, we think about things deeper than ever. We think about things in a varied way of their consequences. This includes, both negative thoughts as well as positive. But there are times when the negative wave rises to such a height that there is no way back. The wave is bound to engulf upon you. It is committed to take you away with it. And at such times, we feel completely helpless. We just keep staring at the wave, from a distance, waiting for it to take you on it’s perpetual journey!

So dear readers, what do you folks do to avoid this negative wave that approaches you every once in a while?

– Suri

120 thoughts on “Is This Life?”

  1. You penned it down so wonderfully! Really!!
    And the wave ….well i duck it by writing! I wrote horrendous stuff :3 trust me on that- but yeah I pour everything down on paper!

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Thank you so much. 🙂
      Haha.. I know, right? Even I resort to writing in such circumstances. Pouring out all my thoughts, feelings, anger and emotions onto the paper.

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  2. I must say and please don’t take it as offence that you do write “heavy” topics which I generally would not expect to relate at such small age. And you write really good. Depression is very serious topic to handle and much more serious ailment to remedy. You hit the right cord that person in depression is never in need to sympathy but require very specific and engaging activities to busy the mind. (I learned that from experience. Hope you don’t have to :). Keep going.

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    1. Thank you so much for sharing your views. 🙂
      Yep! That’s right. All we need to do is, to occupy our mind with some creative stuff so as not to think about things that are negative and absolutely unnecessary.
      Well well .. Even I learnt it from experience. People won’t believe it. They say, you haven’t yet seen/ experienced the world, how can you even LEARN from it?! Eh, I don’t know how.. But I did. And I’m glad I did. It’s making me stronger you see. 🙂

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  3. Great post Suri 🙂 Just as people say that GOOD TIMES ARE ROUND THE CORNER, I guess same goes for the bad times also 😀 and when bad times comes we need to remind ourselves that GOOD TIMES ARE ROUND THE CORNER. Brilliant post though 😉

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    1. Ohh yeah! Good times are ALWAYS around the corner. I wonder when they would find the way towards me? Perhaps, I need to guide them? 😛
      Thanks a lot Darshith. 🙂 I’m glad you liked it, Thanks for reading.

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      1. Oh dear Happiness is always within us. We don’t have to direct it to us but rather feel it from within 🙂 You will learn and may have experienced this also. Just didn’t give much thought & importance. Yeah all the good times & all the bad times PASS, so better live in the moment & you can see Happiness standing by your side 🙂 Thank you Suri !!

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        1. True that! 🙂
          It’s the darkest moment before dawn. There’s a beautiful sunrise waiting for me out there. 🙂
          Thank you too. Your words made me feel better!

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    2. Sorry…I was getting ready to tell you why and my friends who are bedridden called me to help them with a few errands…not very patient those two…lol…Love them…This is a special story to me about a letter my husband sent me a while back..I am writing a blog about this…He drew me a picture of a Hummingbird and named him Hummy Beckam. Then he told me a a story about as Hummy Beckam fly’s his wings build up an energy and as the movement of the air gets stronger and stronger so does this energy. The energy becomes so strong as it moved across the land and then came to an ocean. Hummy Beckam flew so fast that the energy moved the water to where it rippled and then grew stronger and the ripples turned into waves and by the time the waves approached land the energy was so strong that as the wave splashed onto the sand the energy of the thought manifested into the physical realm. Everything in our world began with a thought. Everything. The stronger the energy of the thought the more we focus on it. Until we can think of nothing else and at this time like when a wave splashes onto the shore it becomes alive. My husband calls this “The Ripple Effect” which is so true. The scary reality of this is that this is true both for the good and the bad. Depending on what we are thinking. And the amount of energy we put into these thoughts. We are very much the creator of what happens in our lives. The Good and The Bad. He said to me that he is in some aspects of his life living the results or consequences of his negative thinking. He knows that with this being a truth. A universal law he can change all this around for the good to manifested into the physical realm. He is right. This is true for all of us..Our thoughts are energy. Our Words are energy. This is why it is ever so important for all of us to learn how to control our thoughts. And learn how to gain control over them and to change them to become positive. To be of what we really want…not what we are afraid of..or we will manifest that..and we don’t want that. A lot of the time we want the opposite of what we are putting energy into. I was taught many years ago how to do this..and I work on it everyday. I had to recreate my life really Suri in just about every area..wow…it takes alot of time..it is so worth it..This is actually the entire focus of our online healing store. It is something I still have to focus on everyday..I am so happy though..and I am so in love my husband and
      Hummy Beckam..I have a picture of both of them next to each other next to me on my left from where I sit at my desk. Hummy Beckam’s perch is so close to me, he reminds me all day everyday of this truth. So this is why it is soooo cool you brought up “Thoughts and Waves”
      Will you visit us at our little healing store..I hope you do..A lot…I like you..and I’d like to become friends..Our store is up…we will be Open to sell product really soon..right now I am creating it and hanging out meeting cool people like you…
      I hope you have a fantastic day…and as I always say…

      Thoughts Become Things….Think The Good Ones…

      1000’s of Blessing to You from All of Us at Positive Thoughts Positive Life 4 Everyone

      Rebecca Beckam

      http://rebeccabeckam4wXO.wordpress.com
      http://secretgardenqueen.wordpress.com Coming Soon
      http://tarotqueenofcrowns.wordpress.com Coming Soon

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      1. Wow! I absolutely loved your story about Hummy Beckam ( such a sweet name ) .
        It’s really very true that our thoughts becomes things. We got to be extremely careful while thinking about anything. We have to take care that it doesn’t go towards the negative side.
        Yep. I’ll surely checkout your site first thing tomorrow morning. ( It’s sleeping time in our timezone )
        And thank you so much for your wise words. I really appreciate it. 🙂

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  5. Hey nice one! I’m sure everyone can relate to this. And getting back up on your feet after a negative tsunami hits you is an enormous display of your willpower. According to me, negativity can be brought about by two somewhat interlinked things:
    1. Depression ; and
    2. Circumstances and situations which are so bad that they push you into negativity which then leads you on to depression.
    When you face No 2, while we can’t help situations play out, we can stop said cycle at the part before depression takes over. Which is what I did recently. If you’re interested, you could check out my blog for more on that :p
    Also, brilliant writing style 🙂

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  6. I would love to offer some thoughts but you have noted a huge number of points, each one of which could result in a lengthy response.
    I will take one point (a perceived need for sympathy). The need for sympathy is a misconception because so many people do not understand the difference between sympathy and empathy. If I were really sick, I would not necessarily want your sympathy because telling me “I’m so sorry. I know how you must be feeling” is total nonsense. You cannot know how I am feeling ………… unless you have also experienced my sickness (= empathy).
    I would be receptive to an informed conversation about the side effects of the treatment, the recovery time, the long lasting effects etc of my sickness, but you would have had to personally experience it to be able to offer those comments with any credibility.
    Finally, let us not condemn sympathy which, by definition is “feeling FOR someone”, as distinct from empathy which is “feeling WITH someone”. Your best friend probably cannot offer empathy, but a display of sympathy is a display of caring and should be respected as such.

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    1. Aha! Wisely spoken. 🙂
      True. Maybe somewhere in between our own ego, we forget that our best friend can do nothing more than showing us a genuine form of sympathy.
      Thank you for sharing your views. 🙂

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  10. After suffering from emotional abuse from my ex-husband and his family, I turned to music when I felt down and depressee. Although I don’t have those mental illnesses, I do like to write, because I enjoy being creative, and have enjoyed it since I was a kid. I discovered that music is a wonderful blessing from God, because it is a greate source of healing. You might also want to try writing your feelings down in a journal that can only be seen by you. I hope and pray that you find peace from all your mixed up emotions.

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    1. Oh dear! I’m glad that you are feeling better now, with the music. 🙂
      Yep. I write in my journal as well. And also I draw/ paint, which instantly uplifts my mood and gives me a new kind of enthusiasm.
      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views! 🙂

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            2. I didn’t until yesterday, when a writer friend of mine told me about it. Now, when I publish a post on wordpress, It automatically gets shared on facebook, twitter, and tumblr. Did you get my friend request on Facebook?

              Liked by 1 person

  11. su..
    im would like to tell you only two things . see if that makes sense
    1) problem is inevitable . do not retreat. pursue it . and yes , willingly .
    2)grass is greener where you water it .

    so i know it must have been hard for u to face ur hardships. but im sure u will do good . and fight the odds.
    my best wishes
    Sup

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    1. Awh, you always manage to come up with the words that bring a smile to my face. 🙂
      Thanks a ton for this comment. It truly is very inspirational. Specially the 2nd point. I’m glad you said it.

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  12. When I feel the riptide coming, I swim parallel to the shore…it’s a good metaphor. I take the time to consciously relax and focus my energies elsewhere. I will work on a creative project, work on building my friendships, or sometimes I’ll read and go for long walks.

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    1. That’s sweet. 🙂 you certainly utilize your time very well.
      Haha.. even I need a bit of refreshment for my mind. My artworks and writings and the books that I read are all a result of this itself! 😀
      Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

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    1. Certainly. When we write, we are bound to analyze our problems in as many perspectives as possible. This of course isn’t possible when we only ‘think’ about it.
      Sure. Thank you for reading. 🙂

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  15. I’m afraid I’m one of those people with the condition opposite depression. While I can get melancholy and sad, I just have that state that bounds back to a slightly goofy cheeriness. I don’t know why that happens.

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  16. Suri,

    Thanks for liking my comment on James blog.

    There’s a fine line between sadness and depression. Human beings are susceptible to both negative and positive emotions all day long. It’s part of the challenge of being on Earth School, and it’s pretty normal.

    Now, if things get darker, for extended periods of time, then one should seek professional help, not ordinary chats with friends and relatives.

    The following two articles give some useful hints on how to handle dark states. They are posted on another blog of mine: The Sound of Wisdom. Let me know if you have any questions after reading them.

    Are we in Command of our Lives?

    Know your dark side!

    All the best,

    The Soaring Eagle

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    1. Yes, I do agree that there is a difference between sadness and depression.
      Alright. I’ll checkout those posts and let you know. 🙂
      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views! 😀

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  17. Hey!
    Well, Regarding the need of the psychologist I think it doesn’t matter how much difficulty someone faces, as much to as how they choose to respond to it. And your symptoms can be kept in check by you, only you, because at the end of the day, people may help you and point out the way of return, its you whose got to make that step.
    The wave?-Hmm. I think I just engross myself into doing things I like, and try not to remember whats wrong, and slowly begin solve them one by one, when I have to.

    More importantly, I found this a wonderfully well written take on this topic, and for once, it seems like the author can actually empathise with a sufferer, and can understand the complexity of the situation well enough. Glad I followed you.

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  18. True. The only person who can save you, is you yourself! You are your own savior. There are people out there who do help genuinely. But they can only ‘guide’ us. They cannot make us think or transform our life. It is entirely our responsibility.
    Thanks a lot.
    Thank you for reading it. 🙂

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        1. Haha, wow, yes we do.
          Philosophy is fascinating.
          I find psychology interesting because you can simply understand how others think, feel, percieve. And people do that in similar ways, but always react differently.
          You’ve given a couple of new ideas to write about, now. Watch out when they come xD

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  19. Well it’s true that no two problems are exactly alike, but over analyzing a situation will cause you to lose sympathy and even empathy for others. Just know that you are not alone in the world when feel depressed, we all face ruts in our lives, but it’s up to us on how to deal with our stress, anxiety, depression.etc.

    First off I would l recommend clearing your mind, go to your body get out of your mind. Meditate, stop thinking, do something therapeutic for your body. Yoga, walking, a massage, deep breathing exercises are great ways to ground one’s’ energy. Deep breathing is great practice to conquer fear and stopping the body from being more neurotic. Whatever the problem is take a deep breath relax yourself and make a judgement. Sometimes go with your gut and leave all your doubts behind.

    What your elders meant was that in life there is a path, and if you go along any path long enough there are parts of it that are smooth, parts that are bumpy and sometimes there are difficult to traverse. My point is life is difficult, but it’s the qualities of patience, discipline courage and passion that make great people get through the hard times and become successful. Some of the richest entrepreneurs were stuck in debt eating ketchup sandwiches!

    Make an attempt to be grateful for what you have. A house as solid shelter, a computer, books to read, things to enjoy. Enough food to eat, water to drink. etc. I’m not lecturing you or anything, I’m giving a perspective that shows that life could be a lot worse. Only you can change your perspective!

    Also cherish your friends. Regardless of how many people say they have no friends, they always have that one friend who is willing to talk to them, which could be a lover, a mentor, or even family members. Cherish that friendship and make it special, enjoy that person’s company!

    We all have good qualities and something we are good, or even just decent at. Whatever that it is it takes time and practice to master it. Share your energy with the world, make a change, share your story with others! Help somebody else who is experiencing depression, make them feel special!

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    1. Thanks a ton!! It really made me feel a whole lot better! 😀
      Deep breathing indeed relaxes our mind. True. We are our own savior. We have the responsibility of our life & the power to control it. We must indeed use it wisely!
      Lastly, yes, I draw, paint, read & write so as to refresh myself & let go of all those unwanted negative thoughts. It really helps a lot. 🙂
      Thanks for stopping by & reading this & sharing your views. 🙂

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    2. I like the positive note in your reply and take note of all the points you have brought up. I’m not depressed myself, but despite my positive energy and strength to encourage someone to come out of this has been a long hard road. Trying to change a perspective of someone who doesn’t want that change is indeed a very difficult path. I’m trying everyday to do the right thing for my dearest but to no avail. Talking it out is also difficult and one sided. Dying is an only option in most conversations. what do I do ??

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  20. Wonderful post! My answer to your question.. I’ll think about people who’re worse off than me. Defeating the negativity with negativity. Not the best solution, but it helps sometimes.

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  24. Hey! Great post, I’m sorry to hear people have been so closed minded towards you, and I hope this alleviates. Personally, a relaxing bath with lush bath products, a magazine and a cuddle with my sisters pug usually perks me up 🙂

    All the best

    T: @ellturnip

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            2. Omg!!! I am sorry you lost them 😦 they’re a member of your family dogs, I had one for 10 years that we had to give away, so I feel your heart break. I always think at least I had the pleasure of time with them that I did 🙂 and yep haha I have a beardie 🙂 they’ve got a super mild temperament and love a stroke on the beard haha xx

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  25. Oh yea… People have this “My bad is worse than your bad” syndrome. Almost everytime! But like you said, chirping birds, a butterfly… these things come in and relax. Great post Suri!

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  27. The depth with which you express always amazes me, Suri. It is very relatable though I sincerely hope that the phase passes soon 🙂
    As for me, I run. It is a great (and legal) way to make the mind and body too tired to think 😉

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    1. Wohoo! I know right?! Running is awesome! ❤ (though you need to take care that you don't slip & fall into a water puddle, during the rains that is. XD )
      Yep. It will pass. Reading & Writing ALWAYS manages to relax me during such times! 🙂

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  28. I’m dealing with a very dear person to me who has in the past two years got worse as far as depression goes, but I’m sure she has been like this for the past 11 years. The process has been slow to recognise and it’s only when I think back, do I recall moments that I should have seen as signals of depression. Now the past 18 months have been a nightmare, literally speaking , for her of course but never realised what this would do to my own sanity. I like how you have started saying from a young age that you’re depressed. I now empathise with anyone going through depression that has the courage to admit this fact.
    Thank you for your story Suri. My biggest dilemma at the moment is, every time I leave the house and she’s on her own, what am I going to come back to?

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    1. Most welcome. 🙂
      Yeah, I understand.. Have you tried seeking assistance from someone, regarding this matter?
      They are a lot many people out there who are willing to help.
      And I’m sure things will be all right.
      Keep the hope. Thanks for reading
      🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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      1. Thanks Suri,
        I’m actually taking my dearest to see a professional tomorrow. But as the service is free I’ve had to wait for a long time while things got worse. I hope that tomorrow brings a fresh start to a better understanding of her condition.

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  29. Suri, you articulated depression in an interesting way. I’m glad so many readers interacted with you on the topic, for a couple of reasons. First, as many have mentioned, it is serious business. Second, you’re not in denial, but rather writing and interacting about it. I’m a counselor, so believe me when I tell you you’ve got an encouraging outlook.

    Depression is a unique condition, in that it comes from a lot of different sources, travels an intricate path, and effects everyone in different ways. A counselor just helps you identify what kind of depression you are dealing, and helps you cope with it. They can also help you find out if meds might help. I’m a big fan of my counselor. He’s helped me a lot.

    I look forward to reading more from you!
    God bless!

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    1. Thank you so much for reading!
      By calling it an ‘encouraging outlook’, you’ve just added some more positive vibes in me. 🙂
      I’m glad that you’ve shared your views. Thanks!

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    1. Thank you! Glad you like it! 🙂
      Haha true that! It is very very essential to occupy our mind with positive thoughts/ things that uplift you. Even our hobbies prove to be extremely helpful at such times! 😀

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  32. I avoid the way by getting up out of my current situation. If I’m alone in my room and it starts to hit, I leave the house. I may go somewhere else alone or go hang out with friends. It all depends. Changing the environment seems to help me the most though. Keeps me from feeling trapped.

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  33. I really loved the start to this post and it describes my journey very well , although I don’t think I used words to reach out. I buried most of my thoughts, questions and sadness inside. I think I just felt like a loser.
    My journey took a bit of a different turn when I was diagnosed with

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    1. I really loved the start to this post and it describes my journey very well , although I don’t think I used words to reach out. I buried most of my thoughts, questions and sadness inside. I think I just felt like a loser.
      My journey took a bit of a different turn when I was diagnosed with hydrocephalus, or fluid on the brain, which I sustained from a very difficult birth. Yes, my coordination problems and some of my mood issues had an organic base. I had surgery, which helped things a lot and this also changed my personality and it took me quite awhile to readjust. You see, while I am naturally an extrovert, the hydrocephalus affected my frontal lobe and made me less inhibited so it felt like a light had been switched off and it took me quite awhile to find my mojo.
      Now in my mid 40 and still creative and known for being pleasantly eccentric or just plain creative, I agree that creative people can tend towards Bipolar 2 and schizophrenia in the same way scientists can tend towards Asbergers and Autism Spectrum. I guess you could call them occupational hazards.
      What I have noticed is that there’s a lot of stuff out there about how to boost your creativity and I don’t think I’ve read anything about the dangers of pushing your creativity into overdrive. I have done this a few times when I’ve been writing and painting and then gone to a musical performance and while it was extremely stimulating and I was very inspired, my feet were nowhere near the ground and we still need to function. We have relationships, jobs, things we have to do we can’t just live in a creative bubble floating through a pink haze.
      By the way, I should add that I didn’t drink or smoke anything to over-stimulate my creative side.
      If you look into the science of neuroplasticity, it would support what I’m saying. That you over-stimulate certain parts of your brain, the organic make up of your brain changes.
      I recently wrote a post about helping my son deal with some dark times and you can read the post here: https://beyondtheflow.wordpress.com/2015/06/20/loving-the-misunderstood-when-kids-hurt/
      xx Rowena

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      1. Rowena, it was really sweet of you to share your own experiences with us. I really really appreciate that. And I’m glad that you have now acknowledged your condition and by staying strong, “willing” to come out of it and helping others with your wise words, you’re indeed doing a very brave job! I mean, that’s pretty cool of you to do so. 🙂
        As for ‘Aspergers’, I wasn’t aware of this syndrome before. I know now, because I looked it up on the net after reading it in your comment. Thanks for letting me know about it. 🙂

        Thank you so much for sharing your opinions. Keep stopping by! Take care. 😀

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  34. Reblogged this on Roaming Eopeton (J W Daniels) and commented:
    Amazing post! I’m sharing! 🙂
    Anyway.. I’ve found that depression and bullying are equally misunderstood and equally unnoticed phenomena — and they can often afflict a person at the same time. That was certainly the case with me, growing up.
    For me, it certainly wasn’t about wanting sympathy for my depression(s) — indeed, I often said “I’m fine” when I wasn’t specifically to avoid it. What I wanted was a ‘way out’. A friend, usually. I gather that’s what most depressed people want; which is why suicide is always a possibility with the worst-affected.
    It’s the same, largely, with bullying. The best thing to do for a victim of bullying is to give them a way out of it — getting the bully to stop is best, whether by empowering the victim to make them stop or by standing up to them yourself.

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    1. Very well said. 🙂 I appreciate that you took the time to read my post & then share your own views regarding the matter. 🙂 thanks a lot for your wise words. Also, thank you for the reblog.
      Keep stopping by! 😀

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  35. Wonderfully articulated write-up. Well, I had this problem. Ever since my childhood, even before I learnt of the term ‘depressed’. And there was also a specific reason for mine. I had a horrendous dream. A repetitive dream of explainable things. Dark, Cold and Rigid stuffs. I don’t know yet how to explain it to someone. That very thought itself was depressing me. Since childhood. But then, at a point of time, I got aware of something called earth calendar. And then got hooked up with stuff like evolution and history and the looooooooooooooooong course of it, the unknown of the universe and the vaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaast of it. Since then, I realized to recall these two measures to overcome anything that strikes me negative. We are very tiny, very much expendable in the true nature of time and space. Anything that is negative, it cannot be true, it cannot be real, and it cannot stay longer. It cannot ruin the lottery of a very little life of ~70 years on this wonderful place called earth. That really helps me shun out of those underworld waves.

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  36. That’s indeed a great practice. I’ll try to work them out into my life the next time I have an emotional breakdown.
    A very helpful thought. Thank you so much for it. Keep visiting! Stay good. Take care! 😀

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