Tag Archives: life

My Melody

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The melody of your voice, has always been a little too dear to me. I held onto it like Scrat from the Ice Age held onto his acron, at times a bit too possessively and at other times, obsessively. I feared that if I didn’t hold it tight in my grip, I might lose it forever. So much that it did not occur to me to relish it in the present, just as Scrat. I kept on pursuing it, holding it close, but doing nothing else to ensure its safety.

Until there came a time when I started living life afresh, experiencing new things, things I never imagined I would ever be able to do, like moving seven oceans across, to a completely new land. I actively grew more engaged in changing how I would deal with certain emotions. Before I knew it, I had stopped thinking about you altogether. The new environment had a lot to contribute for it.

The other day, while rummaging through an old, dusty pile of e-mails, I accidently stumbled upon your voice recordings. That crisp, croaky sound gave me company for a good full day. While I was nearly going back to forgetting your voice, the following week, I came across a couple more of these recordings. These ones, probably the last of the lot that I still possess, took me back half a decade down the memory lane.

Its funny how such minute long vocals of vibrations confined in your recording devices can affect your mood, your emotions. How subtly can they give you goose bumps before you even realize it. How they can cause these tiny little droplets of salty water traverse the path down your lower eyelids, through your round, bumpy cheeks, then steeply down your jaws, and then jump down on your clothes making them moist.

It makes me wonder if you too ever find such broken pieces of our memories and if you take some time out to dwell on them a little, and try to fit those pieces together along with the salty water doubling up as glue. If you too cherish the times, while listening to the same old songs that we both loved listening to. If you too would want to go back to those moments and live in the melody of our love, if only for a few more minutes?

– Suri

Little Deep Breaths

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Sometimes life brings you to a standstill. A complete, terrible standstill. You eat, to survive and not because you love to. You try to read and write and draw because you want to come of the loop. The thinking loop that you are continually stuck onto, like it’s the only song on your playlist that plays on repeat. Slowly, your heart starts pounding, faster than usual. Closing your eyes at night is a task in itself, for when those eyes shut – your thoughts amplify, speaking louder than it does during the day. Someone sneezes mid sleep and you wake up wide eyed. Someone else gets up for a little pee in the middle of night, and you rush to them, asking if everything is fine.

That is what anxiety does to you. It creeps up to you without you knowing how far up it has reached already. By the time the realization finally dawns on you, panic has hijacked your mind. It has crept up to the point wherein you do not feel in control of your own body or thoughts. You start to feel helpless, like the world around you is crumbling, along with your hopes and dreams. Your first urge is to give up, and why wouldn’t it be? Isn’t that the easier option? But that is your real test, it is at that exact moment when you need to take a step back and focus on the feeble voice far off towards the end of your vision that tells you to keep going. Well, it might sound unreal at first. For a while let’s just pretend it is real, and take some deep breaths. Those deep breaths wouldn’t make any difference immediately, but it will help you pause, few minutes at a time. It’ll allow you to reconsider your thoughts and help you in breaking their flow. One deep breath at a time.

Heyyaa people! How are you all doing? I’ve missed you loads and I have missed blogging. Hopefully I am back here now. I don’t have a plan yet on what my future posts would be about, but I am happy to be back. It’s much more peaceful than the buzz on other social media platforms.

– Suri

Quarantine Musings #9

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What would you do if someone tells you that you only have a couple of hours to live? – Me? I don’t think I would do anything different, other than being grateful for everything I am blessed with.

Don’t worry, things are fine over here as of now. We are expecting a cyclone in some hours, on top of us living in the epicentre of the COVID-19 outbreak in our country. Monsoon has apparently arrived earlier than expected. Yesterday morning we woke up with the pleasant petrichor of the early morning – first – rain of the season. It’s cloudy since yesterday, which is kind of a sudden change in the climate after a really hot summer in May. Take care, folks!

— Suri

What are Quarantine Musings? Just some random, trivial, light-hearted (or maybe even deep?) thoughts that pass through my mind during these lockdown days.

Quarantine Musings #2

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Some state, “You’re lucky”,

But I feel that sometimes, we’re just in the right place at the right time;

When we trust the process, nature gives its fruits.

Yes, there are risks and obstacles,

But in the end – You. Live. Your. Life. Completely!

With the pains, struggles, hardwork

And with love, confidence, persistence;

We grow, and grow and grow-

Till we become invincible.

— Suri

What are Quarantine Musings? Just some random, trivial, light-hearted (or maybe even deep?) thoughts that pass through my mind during these lockdown days.

Indecisiveness

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Sometimes, a blank page is all you see. You hold a pen in your hand, thinking about things to say, things to write, things to do; but nothing clicks. Or maybe it does click at times, but your hand doesn’t consider it worthy enough to let the thought flow in the form of ink through your pen.

You have in your hand scores of pressing issues to be solved as soon as possible, personal issues, issues requiring only your personal opinion. Yet, you somehow manage to find silly excuses to postpone it, you rely on other so-called important tasks at hand, to ignore the really important issues.

But procrastination isn’t the solution. Sooner or later, we have to face it, we need to face it, before it’s too late to act upon. But when? But how?

– Suri

Just Keep Running!

Dog Days, Dogs, poems, , , , , , , , ,

I step outside
Soak in the afternoon sun
Call out your name
You turn to look
And then start running to me
I hold you tight
Cry my heart out in your fur
Hug you and share with you
All the stories and the hurt
You are attentive
You understand my pain
You listen to me, as always
The terrible things I tell you about
The weird thoughts that I carry around
The fights, the misunderstandings,
The fears, the anguish
I tell you all, but you judge me not

You silently wink that it’ll be alright
As I weep softly with dry tears on my face
We both lay down on the floor,
You on your tummy, me on my back
But huddled together like there’s no room
You were, are and always will be
The best support system of my life.

Yes, it’s been years since we last met,
It’s been some years since you left the planet
But I hope you’re happy, wherever you are
I hope you have a big and wide open ground there
And nobody to stop you, from running around
Because, wasn’t that always your dream?
To run, run, eat and run?

You showed me, no matter what happens
We should never stop running
Feel the pain and double the pace
You were magic, the brightest light in my life
I miss you, but wait, don’t you worry
For I’ll always remember the good old days
To inspire me to run again
And not lay gasping for your presence
For it will only weaken my soul

I’ll run again, I’ll live your dream
And thus I’ll make it up to you
To the days that we’ve lost
To the times that we could have met, but didn’t.

I love you, Sweety.

Note: Here’s another poem dedicated to my dog, Sweety who passed away around 5 years ago.

– Suri

#FlashbackFriday

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When the old thoughts creep back in
and you feel cold underneath your skin

When the old days flash right through
and you think that it’s the midnight’s blue

When you start to run quicker and faster
but time catches you swifter and sooner

When your memory’s a blurry, crumbled picture
with a tiny bit of frown and a bit of smile, a dash of tears but sprinkles of hope!

Pause. Stay. Stop. And breath…
do not fall prey to the past’s agonizing bond.
But ‘begone!’ you yell out loud to it’s face
for only then will it shiver and abscond.

– Suri

P.S.: Poetry after sooo long, yaayy! Comment and let me know what do you feel about this poem. Did you like it? 😀